Success

Well, we did it.

Last week Chuck and I moved into our first place. It was a success and a debacle in so many ways. Despite having enough stuff to furnish this entire apartment, the phsyical move wasn’t that bad. It was a lot of stuff but the dresser, couches and piano were the hardest and heaviest thing to move.

Somehow, I got out of moving the dresser and the couches. I’m assuming it’s because I’m out of shape.

Getting used couches from our friends saved us a whole buttload of money. Plus, it doesn't matter when the cats destroy them.

The apartment is coming together quite nicely.  The couches are in place as is my dining set and bedroom set. We had finally gotten rid of most of the garbage until I started opening up boxes of  cookware and now we’re back to messy. With a free weekend ahead of us, hopefully we can get everything where it needs to be.

Unlike some of my friends, Chuck and I had enough stuff to furnish this entire apartment. Between friends and family, we accumulated a good portion of everything we would need to get this place together. Right now, the only new thing we own is the bedroom set and that’s only because my mom wanted to keep the set I had at home.

Much of the kitchen could have previously been found in my Nana’s Glendale apartment. Her dining room table and chairs are now in my dining “room” and her dishes , cookware, glasses and flatware are in the cabinets and drawers. Her end tables and lamps now furnish my living room.

Also in the living room are the couches from my friend Tommy and Lisa who were going to put them on the curb about two years ago. They sat in my garage until now. Tommy’s cat tore them up pretty badly prior to getting declawed, but considering I have my own cat that likes to use the couch as his personal scratching post, I don’t feel too bad about it. For as old as they are, they sure are comfy.

Sabrina and Pete gave us a set of pots and pans that were left behind from some previous roommates. I thought they were gently used. Turned out the box was still closed. Randomly, I’ll find something that my parents decided they could do without and ended up here in Raleigh, like a couple of pasta bowls. The rest is ours from Chuck previous apartment or my days in college.

Our apartment, and this stuff inside, my not be new, sparkly and clean, but it’s ours.

Finding Our Humble Abode

The hardest part about deciding to move out of state is finding a place to hang your hat.

Sure, there’s that whole employment issue, but with the cost of living so low, a minimum wage job could pay the rent. Finding a place to rent is where the problem lies.

Chuck and I are still deciding where in North Carolina we want to move. Raleigh was at the top of our list until the school district imposed a hiring freeze. It would be the best place to find a minimum wage gig, but with no chances of even finding work as a substitute teacher, what’s the point?

The plus side of Raleigh is that I know people in the area who can tell us what areas are great and which are the ghetto. My friend Jess in Durham ended up in a nasty apartment complex and ended up calling the police on multiple occasions, three of those times was because her place was broken into.

We haven’t done much legwork for Winston-Salem, but with Chuck’s cousin living in the area and her husband being a local cop, finding a good place to live will be pretty easy. Jobs are an issue since the unemployment rate hovers around 10 percent, whereas in Raleigh and Asheville it’s a couple points lower.

Asheville was one of our favorite towns, but it’s also the one we spend the least amount of time in. We also don’t know anyone that lives in the area. While we plan to visit again in June for an extended weekend, there isn’t much we can go on when it comes to finding a safe place to call home.

Apartment listings on websites don’t exactly have an “Avoid places that will require me to have the cops on speed dial” option. Apartments may also look great on paper and then a quick search for reviews leads you to some disappointing information.

Take The Meadows for example. Sure it’s pretty and reasonably priced. A quick Google search leads me to this awesome review.

Now, most of the reviews on this site are a few years old and you can’t take everything you read on the internet as fact so where does that leave Chuck and me when we try to find a place to live?

I guess we’ll just have to wing it and hope for the best.

The Importance of Bored[sic] Meetings

In about a half hour I will be doing an endorsement interview for the Long Beach Board of Education elections on May 18. I did one earlier with the challenger and now I’m just killing time until I give the incumbent a call.

I admit that prior to working at the Herald, I had no interest in what was happening within a particular school district. Honestly, I still have no interest, but I do see the importance of being in the know. You can’t complain about the canceling of a program, the closing of a school or the approval of a teachers contract if you don’t keep yourself informed.

Most school districts do a couple of board meetings a month and they are the most boring thing you could ever put yourself through. Unless there is a particular issue that invokes some sort of community uprising, like the closing of a school, most of these meetings are uneventful and could go long into the night.

These meetings do provide the information a resident needs to make solid decisions when it comes to voting for a budget, bond or board trustee, but most often these meetings are sparsely attending with most of the audience consisting of district staff.

Since Long Beach are the only meetings I go to (because the nature of my work doesn’t really give me the opportunity to go to my own district meetings) I can’t really vouch for other districts, but I find it incredibly irritating when a crowd of parents show to up to watch their kids get a certificate for some wonderful thing they did, then leave once the presentation is over.

It’s irritating because A) I wanna go home toooooo!!!! and B) despite how much you love your child, his or her honoring at a board meeting is not the most important thing happening and you should probably stick around for the actual meeting. You are going to be the first one to complain when the board makes a decision you don’t approve of.

If you’re lucky enough to have a hyper-local newspaper that does extensive coverage of the meetings, then the next best thing is to at least read the paper. But, your best bet is to go to the actual meeting since not all papers cover the meeting. While I head to every Long Beach board meeting, I don’t write a story about the meeting itself and usually take the information to write a much larger story. We have too much news and too little space to sum up a boring meeting into 500 boring words.

Now that many of my friends are buying homes and planning families, I hope that they will suck it up and attend a night of torture that are school board meetings (city council, village board or town council should also be attended for the same reasons). You’ll probably feel like you just wasted two hours of your life that you’ll never get back, but when elections come along, you won’t have to rely on your local newspaper to tell you who to vote for. You can make your own educated decision.

Hidden Gems

Last Saturday, Chuck and I wanted to enjoy the beautiful weather so we did something we’ve been meaning to do for a while. We headed over to the Vanderbilt Museum and Planetarium in Centerport for a little educational fun.

We saw a Beatles laser show at the planetarium last year for Valentine’s Day, but prior to that visit the last time I stepped foot on the property, I was in 2nd grade at Merrimac Elementary School and we were on a field trip.

Aside from the planetarium, which seemed so much more grand 20 years ago, the waterfront estate also houses the Spanish-style mansion of William K. Vanderbilt II and his exotic collection of artifacts from around the world. You can also visit the marine museum, curator’s cottage and gardens.

A few of the water from the courtyard of the Vanderbilt mansion.

Click here for more details

With so much to see and do, I anticipated plenty of families and braced myself for an afternoon of screaming children.

I was wrong.

Most of the visitors were adults, either young or old, and randomly a grandparent would be escorting their grandchild who was barely able to walk. The place was empty.

We toured the mansion a bit, but did not pay for the official tour that would take us through the rooms. For an extra $5, I wish we had. We lingered through the gardens and examined the plethora of dead animals and sea life on display. We planned to attend the 4:00 showing of Journey Through the Solar System, so we didn’t have enough time to check out the marine museum.

The lack of a crowd made for a nice, peaceful afternoon, but I was somewhat disappointed when Chuck and I were two of eight people in the projection room for a really interesting show about the stars and planets. One of those eight was the girl telling us where the emergency exits were. Was it even worth the money to run the show?

The entire visit cost $13 each ($7 for the admissions pass and $5 for the show). With people moaning about saving money, this was a pretty cost-effective Saturday afternoon. Not to be a total nerd, but it actually becomes an educational cost-effective way to spend the day. I really couldn’t understand why more people weren’t there.

Last year, the museum made news when it struggled to stay afloat. The dwindling endowment was hit hard when the market tanked. A quick search on Google didn’t show any recent articles pertaining to how it weathered the year, but I can’t imagine things are going great considering the lack of attendance on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

Some of the things I will miss about Long Island are these hidden gems that continue to go unnoticed by the general public. I’m not sure there’s much of an appreciation for places like the Vanderbilt Museum and I’m afraid that if Long Islanders continue to ignore these places they will eventually disappear.

Dear Senator

When the New York State Senate rejected a bill that would have allowed gays to marry, I wrote an email to my senator Brian Foley.

Apparently Foley, a Democrat, voted for the bill after being swayed by the personal stories of those that ventured to Albany to speak to legislators. I had never emailed my senator and to be honest, I didn’t know who my senator was until that vote.

I'm so wrapped up in Nassau politics, I didn't know this guy represented me.

Last week I received an email from Foley’s campaign committee thanking me for my support on the issue of gay marriage. The email then asked me to contribute for Foley’s campaign to get him back into Albany this year.

I decided to shoot Foley, or his committee, an email back. I let him know that I had not forgotten that the senate took an entire month off and were in fact paid for it. I reminded him that had I pulled that same stunt I would have been fired.

I also informed him that I do not feel politicians act in the best interests of their constituents, but for their own personal gain and until that changes I wouldn’t be voting in any election, locally or nationally.

Finally, I noted that I don’t plan on being in New York by the next election because the cost of living on Long Island is forcing me to move to a cheaper area.

Now, I don’t know Foley and I’m sure he’s an okay guy, but I’m a tad bit frustrated with politics these days. This BS between Democrats and Republicans has reached epic proportions and the people are suffering. Just quit your bitching at each other and work together to try to get this country back on track. Put your philosophies aside, talk to the idiots that voted for your incompetent asses and do what needs to be done to get this country back to the caliber that it SHOULD be.

Never mind the fact that this country is run by those with the most monetary backing for better or worst. Maybe if I had a few million to throw at a politician they would do me a solid and pass a bill to allow gays to marry, or legalize pot, or hell, make January 30 National Kitten Day.

On the hyper-local level, I’m leaving because Long Island is ridiculously expensive and no one seems to be doing anything about it. There’s a lot of talk, but no action. Eventually Long Island will be an island of the wealthy, since only those with big paychecks will be able to afford the taxes.

Even at this point, if I could afford to stay in New York, I don’t know if I would.

*Editor’s Note: Let’s be real, I’m sure North Carolina has its own set of issues, but at least it’s possible to make a decent living.

On Jan 20, 2010, at 8:12 AM, Senator Brian X. Foley wrote:

Thank you for your kind words regarding my recent vote on the marriage equality bill that came before the State Senate.  I, and many of my colleagues, believe this is truly an issue of civil rights and the separation of church and state.  The speeches delivered on the floor of the Senate that day were some of the finest speeches I have heard in my time as an elected official.  They were heartfelt, moving, and, in the final analysis, persuasive.

During my first year in the Senate, I have fought the tough fights – protecting education funding, standing up for the rights of our workers, and being a voice in Albany for the needs of Long Island.  I feel blessed to be able to fight these battles.  And now, I am facing a tough electoral fight – one which I fully intend to win.  But I cannot do it alone.  I need your help in order to continue to make your voice heard in Albany.

Please consider contributing $50, $100, $250, $500, or more, to help send me back to Albany.  To contribute, please visit my ActBlue page: http://www.actblue.com/entity/fundraisers/20512.

The contribution limit for my race is $9,500.  Please note that political contributions are not tax deductible.

Over the last year, we have been able to work together to begin to bring change to New York.  But there is still more to be done – and I need your help to do it!  Please visit my ActBlue page today and help me keep fighting to make your voice heard in Albany.

Thank you,

Brian X. Foley

New York State Senator

3rd District

Dear Senator Foley,

While I approve of your support for gay marriage, I have not forgotten that members of the Senate did not work for an entire month last year and still received a paycheck. If I were to have done that I would have been fired immediately. I do not blame you for that debacle, but I think a message needs to be sent to all politicians that many feel our elected officials no longer represent our interests and I will not vote in any election until that attitude changes. That said, I am in the process of relocating to North Carolina because the cost of living is too high on Long Island, a problem that everyone talks about, but no one addresses.

Please take me off any mailing list my email address has been placed on.

Thank you,

Ariella

Life is a Highway

My first car was a 1999 Ford Escort. It was hardly the sports car, but with my lead foot I certainly drove it like one. In high school I was one of the few that had my license and a car so I was responsible for toting everyone around.

I put 53,000 miles on my 2007 Toyota Corolla since purchasing it in Sept. 2007

Back then I would volunteer to drive on all road trips. I wouldn’t hesitate heading into the city or out to Montauk on a whim. My friend Christine and I would get in my car and just drive around Long Island for hours with no destination in mind. I got my first taste of rush hour traffic as I would travel 20 miles to my job as a lifeguard in the summer.

I had such a deep love of driving that I would often travel far distances only to return a day or two later. Like when and old friend and I hopped into my car and drove about 10 hours from Holbrook to Norfolk, Va. to pick up my ex-boyfriend, only to turn around and come back less than 24 hours later. Another ex-boyfriend lived in Pennsylvania so I spent many hours driving on Interstate 80 only to return after a day and a half.

That all changed two years ago.

My 90-mile commute to and from work each day has officially broken my love of driving. Driving in Nassau County is one of my most hated tasks. Thanks to my proximity to Ocean Parkway, I sit in minimal traffic, but it is still enough to suck the life out of me. My back hurts, my hips hurt, my knees hurt, all pains that I attribute to sitting for long hours.

Each day I come home tired, irritated and cranky. I’ve come home crying and incredibly angry. Now, I avoid driving whenever possible. I still do my long trips, but I do them with some resistance. I know it’s the only way I will see many of my friends and I can usually focus on how happy I am to see them rather than how irritated I am driving through Nassau and the city.

Two years ago a road trip down south would have excited me. Now, I’m dreading every minute of it. We considered flying and renting a car, but the cost was so high, neither of us could spend the money in good conscious.

For as much Chuck loves driving, he has little patience with people on the road and can quickly become angry. He starts driving like a jerk and I yell at him and before we know it a fight has erupted because some guy didn’t signal before changing lanes. He is also no Magellan as he lacks an internal compass. He still gets lost going to the sushi place we go to at least twice a month if we go from my house.

In order to keep the peace, I already drive for most long trips. As irritated as I become, I have more patience and in the end, my sacrifice keeps us happy. Because of that, I anticipate driving 99 percent of the time down to North Carolina, through all the cities we plan on visiting and back north to New York.

This makes me feel kind of resentful, but I’m not as angry at my boyfriend as I am for the long commute that caused me to feel this way about something I used to find so enjoyable. Two years of traffic, rude and  incompetent drivers has made me hate stepping foot in my car.

My Escort finally broke down in 2007 with less than 89,000 miles on it. I now pay an obscene amount of money for a 2007 Toyota Corolla that  has 67,000 miles.

If life is a highway, these days, I’d rather take the train.

To Live in Sin

At almost 27, I find myself in a serious relationship looking to make the next step that will eventually lead to the marriage step. It is very hard to take your relationship to the next level when you live with your parents.

Now, of course, I know plenty of couples that dated, got engaged and moved in after the wedding, but the difference is, whether they moved in before or after the wedding, they still had the funds necessary to move in together. No one gets engaged if they can’t afford to move out or in the case of many Long Island couples, have a basement apartment in their parent’s house they can move into.

My mother has offered to separate part of the house into an apartment, which would require the installation of a kitchen and possibly a bathroom. If not a bathroom, then it would require major construction to make the upstairs bedrooms larger to accommodate my parents and siblings. They would spend a butt-load of money and get nearly nothing on their return, because my parents would refuse to take rent from us. After Chuck and I spent a few years in this makeshift mother-daughter home, they would rent it out to a stranger, which would possibly help their investment.

The idea sounded great at first, but in the end I’ve put it on the bottom of the option list because I’d rather my parents not demolish my entire house just so Chuck and I can move in together.

Truth be told, it’s a bad time in general for young couples. While I am one of the lone few attached friends still living at home, those that have been able to settle on the Island acknowledged times are tough. In passing conversation I hear about taxes increasing and how the heat will be left off until the first snow falls.

A home should be your castle not your prison, but right now, my childhood bedroom is starting to feel like a prison.

I Heart Long Island

Three years ago I had an argument with my ex-boyfriend who was from Pennsylvania. I told him that I wasn’t leaving Long Island and if I did at any point, I would have to move back. His lack of understanding my passion for the Island was one of the many reasons we broke up. Looking back on it now, I may have been subconsciously using my passion as an excuse to avoid taking the next step with him, but that’s neither here nor there.

Words can’t describe how I feel when I drive on the Robert Moses Causeway and see the sun rise over the Great South Bay and catch a glimpse of the never ending ocean on the horizon. I love our small towns, vineyards, farms and, when I’m feeling like a college student again, the local bars.

I love the change in seasons and how it never gets too hot, but never gets too cold. I don’t venture into Manhattan often, but I like that I’m just a train ride away when I feel the need to meet up with a city-living friend or visit a museum.

I love the pizza and a good bagel.

Sometimes I forget about all the things that I love because all I can think about lately are all the things I hate.

I hate that I work 35 miles away from my job, but it takes me an hour to get there because of traffic. I also hate that I have to plan my entire existence on Long Island, and leaving Long Island, on traffic. I hate that when I’m in Nassau County I have to ask questions like, “If I park here, am I going to get towed?” or “Does it have a separate lot or do I need to park on the street?”

I hate that people aren’t polite enough to say thank you when you hold the door open for them or let them cross the street without running them over. I hate that one person will cause 20 minutes of traffic just to get someplace 10 seconds faster. I hate that gas is 10 cents more expensive here than other places in the state.

I hate that property taxes cost more than most mortgages. I hate that the cheapest rent in a complex in a decent area is $1,100 a month plus utilities. I hate that the cheaper option is living in someone’s basement.

Most of all, I hate that the cost of living is so high and the salaries are so low that in order to take the next step in a serious relationship, I need to ask my parents to convert part of their house into a separate apartment or move away.

In the past two years I’ve been hit with a hard dose of reality. One day I’m going to have to leave.

 

Generation Y on Long Island

In less than two months I’ll be 27. I moved home after graduating college in 2005. I expected to be home for another year while I finished up my masters. After that, I assumed, I would move out.

I didn’t.

I redecorated, figuring I would be there for a couple more years. Might as well get rid of the childhood stuff I have accumulated in the 20 some odd years I have been living in that room.

A couple of years later, present day, I redecorated again figuring I’ll be there for another few years.

The majority of my old friends have since moved out of mom and dad’s house and into their own apartments or their first homes. They’re also married  . My boyfriend Chuck and I have been dating for a year and a half, but have no plans to get married any time soon because we don’t have the funding to move out of our parents’ house.

Despite my old friends having left the nest, my coworkers, who are generally in their 20s, live at home. There are exceptions though. Alex, lives with eight room mates in a large house in West Babylon and Mike who is married and living in the city in a family owned apartment. The rest of us, we’re all still with mom and dad, unable to move out.

Don’t get me wrong my parents are great. They give me plenty of freedom and the most annoying that I have to deal with is my mother pestering me about knowing if I’ll be home for dinner or not. It doesn’t make the fact that in two months I’ll be in my late 20s and I’ll still be living at home, dependent on my parents to keep a roof over my head, because I can’t do it myself.

It’s depressing. You can’t help but feel like a failure. I have a great, albeit low paying, job and a post graduate degree and I have failed at that whole independence thing. Chuck is in a worse position, as he has been unable to find work because of the recession.  Not there’s much you can do with a physics degree. He did have a brief stint at Cablevision, but too many angry people yelling at him about their cable bill was too much for his emotional well being and he left before he had a psychotic break. Living off his savings, he sold his car and is back in school. We commiserate.

We’ve established the fact that we are meant for each other and plan on tying the knot eventually. Moving in together is next on our list of big steps to take as a couple, but with a combined income of under $30,000 a year and bills totaling more than half that per month, there aren’t many apartments that are in our price range.

So now that you have the back story, I invite you to follow me, via this blog, as I try to survive Long Island in my 20s.