Cute Hockey Boy

Two years ago at this time I was Brunos, a bar in Lake Ronkonkoma, sitting next to this amazing guy, Cute Hockey Boy, talking about something. I can’t remember what because the conversation glided easily from one topic to another. We had just finished watching the Islanders lose to the Flyers and the bar was starting to fill with its Saturday night regulars. When it finally got too loud to hear each other speak we hopped in the car and drove to Starbucks and finished our conversation over coffee until we were sent away by a weary barista. We returned to the Applebees parking lot where I had left my car and I returned home giddy as a schoolgirl nearly seven hours after my date had started.

My love affair with goalies came true when I met this goalie in 2008.

In the present day that amazing guy is still in my life and the Islanders are still losing (6-4 Penguins…ugh). Chuck and I have been through a lot since that first date: weddings, funerals, hiring, firings, weight loss, weight gain and more trips to the emergency room than I care to count.

I knew early on that Chuck was the person that I wanted to strap a ball and chain to and keep around for the rest of my life. I’m glad he feels the same way about me, because otherwise this would be one awkward blog.

We’ve been ready to take the next step in our relationship for a while now and unfortunately the thing keeping us from doing that isn’t a fear of commitment, but an inability to pay the rent. If I had to choose between the two, I would take the fear of commitment over high cost of living.

We decided to relive our first date today by heading to Applebees for dinner. Everything was great until the end of dinner when Chuck’s stomach began acting up. We had end the night early because he forgot his medicine at home. “I wish we lived together,” he said as he drove me back to my house.

While we have come down with our fair share of misfortune in terms of school and employment, the simple act of starting your life together should not be hindered by an extreme cost of living. Why should my life be delayed because salaries are low and taxes are high? Why is rent for the same exact apartment two hours north $200 more expensive?

Next year we won’t be celebrating the third anniversary of our first date at the Patchogue Applebees. We’ll be in our own place in a city hundreds of miles away.

To Live in Sin

At almost 27, I find myself in a serious relationship looking to make the next step that will eventually lead to the marriage step. It is very hard to take your relationship to the next level when you live with your parents.

Now, of course, I know plenty of couples that dated, got engaged and moved in after the wedding, but the difference is, whether they moved in before or after the wedding, they still had the funds necessary to move in together. No one gets engaged if they can’t afford to move out or in the case of many Long Island couples, have a basement apartment in their parent’s house they can move into.

My mother has offered to separate part of the house into an apartment, which would require the installation of a kitchen and possibly a bathroom. If not a bathroom, then it would require major construction to make the upstairs bedrooms larger to accommodate my parents and siblings. They would spend a butt-load of money and get nearly nothing on their return, because my parents would refuse to take rent from us. After Chuck and I spent a few years in this makeshift mother-daughter home, they would rent it out to a stranger, which would possibly help their investment.

The idea sounded great at first, but in the end I’ve put it on the bottom of the option list because I’d rather my parents not demolish my entire house just so Chuck and I can move in together.

Truth be told, it’s a bad time in general for young couples. While I am one of the lone few attached friends still living at home, those that have been able to settle on the Island acknowledged times are tough. In passing conversation I hear about taxes increasing and how the heat will be left off until the first snow falls.

A home should be your castle not your prison, but right now, my childhood bedroom is starting to feel like a prison.